Wrath of Lamb July 20/10

I'm going to tell you a story that I'm not proud of... it's really horrible but possibly entertaining as well. Most grocery stores have points-card programs... like Safeway... they've got great selection and prices, but you save a significant amount if you have a Safeway Club card number... like 10-15 percent. About 8 years ago, when I was living in Vancouver, I was talking to a comedian friend of mine about how I didn't have a Safeway Club card. He told me his roommate has one, so next time I'm at Safeway, I should just use his phone number, and get the discount.

So I did... and I kept doing it, because it was easier than going through the trouble of getting a card. Now, when your receipt prints up, the card member name appears on the bottom, and the checkout people are required to address you by name. So, I would always get 'Thank you, Mr. Clark...'  I would smile and sheepishly take my groceries.

Now, about 4 years ago, tragically, my friend's roommate killed himself. Shortly afterwards, I found myself at Safeway... and out of habit I gave my friend's number. 'Thanks, Mr. Clark....' It was unnerving. But I've continued to use it, and so does my wife. She's Mrs. Clark. My comic friend also still uses the number of his dead roommate's account. I like to think we're keeping his memory alive. Now, I know some of you might be horrified by this, and you're probably right. But it's not like I'm stealing from a dead person.

On the contrary... he's racking up some serious points.