Wrath of Lamb December 17/09

Somebody in North Vancouver stole a Salvation Army donation kettle on Tuesday. This seems to happen every year, and I just have one thing to say about this...

TIE DOWN THE DAMN KETTLES!!!

You probably weren't expecting that reaction, were you? Every single year a story comes out about one of these kettles being stolen, usually with a headline something like 'Grinch steals Salvation Army kettle, but not Christmas spirit'. Well, you could have both the money AND the Christmas spirit if you just, I don't know...

TIED DOWN THE DAMN KETTLE!

People get all shocked... 'how can these people be so heartless?' Listen... people who steal things, we'll call them 'thieves', don't care how other people feel... If they did... They wouldn't be thieves! Yes, I think people who steal are scum, especially ones who steal from charity, but like it or not, this is the world we live in. You stick a giant glass orb full of money on the street, dangling from a hook, what do you think is gonna happen?

TIE DOWN THE DAMN KETTLES!

Wrath of Lamb December 16/09

I want to add a word to my list yesterday of the words I don't want to see in 2010. The word is 'hero'. I'm okay with the word being used in its proper context, but it has become so overused its basically meaningless now. I happened across 'Wheel of Fortune' last night, and it was 'heroes' night. The contestants were all in the US military. That does not make them heroes, I'm sorry. Neither does being a firefighter, a cop or a paramedic.

Those are simply career choices.

A guy that runs into a burning building to rescue a family he's never met... THAT's a hero. Someone who sees a person drowing in a lake and jumps in with no thought of their own safety, that's a hero. It may be too late, but let's try to save the word 'hero' for people who deserve it. Because if everyone's a hero, then nobody's a hero.

Ya get me?

Wrath of Lamb December 15/09

Well, we're coming to the end of another year, so I thought I would give you a list of the words and phrases that I think should stay behind in 2009, and never rear their ugly heads again.

First...

'Sexting'... I don't really know what it is, and I've never had it happen to me, so maybe I'm just a little jealous. But 'sexting' is a stupid word, and it should be called what it really is... 'ruining you life'.

Number two....

'Green'... Just putting the word 'green' beside something doesn't make it environmentally friendly. The big corporations learned long ago that people will scoop things up if they say 'green' on them. Green toilet paper. Green dish soap. Green baby harbour seals. It means nothing.

Three...

'Lo-Jo'... this is a local one, it is supposed to stand for 'Lower Johnson'... it's a vain attempt to create some hip neighbourhood. Give it up... besides, last time I checked, 'Lo-Jo' was some abandoned buildings and a Salvation Army.

Number four...

'Bailout'... let's put this one back where it belongs... on a sinking boat.

And finally...

'I Believe'... the whole Olympics campaign annoys me. 'Do you believe'? Yes, I believe I'll never be able to afford to see any of the events. I believe the taxpayers in this province will be paying for this for many years to come. I believe it has become an overblown mess... and I believe the Olympic Games are a giant waste of time. But at least they'll be green.

Thank you.

Wrath of Lamb December 11/09

I'm thinking about my friend Owen this morning. He died 8 years ago today, and I miss him. Owen was a good friend, with whom I shared some life changing moments. When I was 19 years old, Owen and I spent three months travelling through the US and Canada, and then three years later we went to Mardi Gras in New Orleans together. I met him when I was in grade 8 or 9, and he was kind of a quirky guy with not alot of friends, but by graduation, he was one of the most popular kids in school. His parents' place was our hangout in high school... they had a basement with a pool table, a stereo and a beer fridge, and it was often the starting point of our evenings.

He died under somewhat mysterious circumstances... he was staying at his folks' place in Oak Bay, and went out for a walk in the middle of the night. He came home with a massive head injury. He died two days later. There was even a homicide investigation, where the police interviewed everyone, including me... but they ended up ruling it an accident... a fall. We held a big party for Owen up at UVic, and a couple hundred people showed up to pay their respects. We all got drunk, just like Owen would have wanted.

I realize this Wrath of Lamb is totally self-serving, but I don't care.

This one's for Owen... rest in peace, buddy...I miss you and I think about you all the time.

Wrath of Lamb December 09/09

I've noticed a resurgence of 80's styles in the last little while, and I think it's hilarious. The 80's were a terrible decade for fashion and music... trust me, I was there. And now it's all coming back into vogue. I've seen shirts with neon pink and green triangles, girls wearing big hoop earrings and scrunchies. I've even seen leg warmers. Leg warmers!

In the 80's, I was a rocker.

I didn't subscribe to the pastels and the feathered hair and the rolled up sleeves on the polo shirt. I wore a Black Sabbath t-shirt and jeans. Every single day. Everything sucked about the 80's. The hair, the fashion, and especially the music. Everybody Wang Chung tonight? What does that even mean? Everyone's dancing around, 'Everybody Wang Chung tonight!!'... maybe Wang Chung means stick a knife in the side of your head.

Please, let the 80's die.

Wrath of Lamb December 08/09

It was 29 years ago today that John Lennon was murdered. After all this time, his influence is undeniable. Why anybody would want to kill John Lennon is beyond me. The man stood for nothing but peace, love and music. I was nine years old when Lennon got shot and I remember my mom crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said that someone that she loved had died. She assured me that it was nobody that I knew.

But as I got older that changed.

Anyone who is a fan of the Beatles and John Lennon feels a connection with his music, his voice and his lyrics that goes beyond just listening to a record. The world lost a loved one 29 years ago, and it's never been the same. So put on some Beatles or some John Lennon today and think about how we can try and make this a better world.

Wrath of Lamb December 07/09

I am really bad at remembering people's names. Like really bad. Really really bad. I think maybe I come across as a snob sometimes, but running into people I've met before sends waves of panic through my entire body. Unless I've met you, say, 15 times, you can be pretty sure I don't remember your name. I do alot of 'hey man, good to see you, buddy... how are things...you?' When I'm talking to someone whose name I should remember, I do this thing where I run a rolodex through my mind.

I start in alphabetical order, hoping the name will pop into my head.

A... Anna? no. Alexis? no. Abigail? no. B... Bianca? Betty? Beth? no. Okay, C... Carol? Connie? Christine? THAT'S IT! Christine! 'So, how are things, Christine?' 'It's Wanda'.

Oh crap... I was way off.

Wrath of Lamb December 03/09

The following is a message to the three yahoos who drove around Victoria last weekend, beating up strangers for fun.

I know you think you're bad-ass and cool, and now that you've been caught you probably think it's a badge of honour that proves how 'street' you are. But you guys are nothing more than frightened little children with some misdirected anger issues. Individually, you're cowardly, bored little imps. Uneducated and lost. Together, you act like a pack of stupid dogs, feeling tough in numbers. But you're worse than dogs, because dogs have an excuse... They're dogs.

The people you beat up were walking down the street, minding their own business. You traumatized them... and you hurt them. Not just physically, but in ways you'll never be able to understand... Just in time for Christmas too. Well done. Now you'll have criminal records. Cool. Good luck trying to travel outside the country. Ever. Or getting a decent job. My prediction is that out of the three of you, one...probably your 'leader'...will become a career criminal, and spend the majority of his life getting raped in prison. The other two will grow up and start to live a productive life. Get a job, make decent friends, become an active member of society. Maybe meet a nice girl, get married and settle down. Then maybe you'll have a child or two. And maybe, if karma is to believed, you'll wake up late one night to a call from the hospital, saying that your son is in the emergency room, because a pack of idiots decided it would be fun to beat him up. Then maybe you'll fully understand the implications of what you've done.

Morons.

Wrath of Lamb December 02/09

It's really starting to seem that the RCMP are running rampant, and they don't have to follow the same rules as you and me. The latest story is mind-boggling. Corporal Benjamin Robinson was off duty when he crashed his jeep into a motorcycle, killing the rider. The Delta Police took over the investigation, and recommended charges of drunk driving and dangerous driving causing death. Those charges were dropped. Robinson told the police that he was sober, but after the crash, he left, had a few shots of vodka, then returned to the scene.

Really... 'Oh my God, I think I might have killed somebody! I better go get some alcohol on my breath and then come back'. Would ANYbody think that was a good idea? ANYbody? Especially, oh, I don't know, a COP???!!! By the way, this guy was also one of the cops involved in the Robert Dziekanski taser death. This is just the latest of a whole list of incidents where RCMP officers are getting away with, well, murder.

I know cops have a hard job, and I respect that... but there has to be some accountability.

Wrath of Lamb December 01/09

Today is World AIDS Day. It's a day to bring awareness of HIV and AIDS around the world. I remember hearing about AIDS for the first time in the early 80's. And truthfully, for awhile there, many people thought it was a disease that only affected the gay population. Well, that quickly changed. In the mid 80's thru the mid 90's, AIDS became a very serious thing. People were terrified of getting it, and safe sex became the buzz word.

Well, now, AIDS seems to have become less of a priority again. I think most people consider it a problem of the third world, not something that really affects them here. Well, despite some amazing advances with medications and treatments, HIV and AIDS is still a real issue on our planet. There are 33 million people around the world living with HIV or AIDS. More than 5-thousand die every day from the disease. And more than a thousand children are infected every single day.

So, AIDS hasn't gone anywhere. I urge you to consider donating to the cause.

Go to the AIDS Vancouver Island website at http://www.avi.org/

Wrath of Lamb November 30/09

This whole Tiger Woods thing is very weird, don't ya think? If you haven't heard, he was apparently in a 'car accident' just outside of his home in Florida. His wife had to use a golf club to smash the back window out of the car, so she could get him out. When the cops arrived, Tiger was lying in the middle of the road with facial injuries, in and out of consciousness.

Hmmmm.

This comes a week after stories came out about Tiger apparently having an affair with another woman. All I know, is it's stories like this that remind me that even the richest, most powerful people in the world, are still just people. They're just as human as you or me. I mean, Tiger has more money than we can even fathom. The man could take a ride on the space shuttle in a solid gold spacesuit, and eat a panda burger off a diamond encrusted plate.

But he'll still get a 5-iron in the face if he pisses off his wife.

Wrath of Lamb November 27/09

Today is Jimi Hendrix's birthday. He would have been 67 years old today had he lived, but unfortunately, he died in 1970 at the age of 27. He had choked to death on his own vomit after overdosing on barbituates. Anybody who plays guitar owes Jimi a certain amount of gratitude. The man was a genius, and created music that will live on forever. When you think about it, nobody has ever come close to doing what he did.

Nobody sounds like he did.

We all know the hits... Purple Haze, Are You Experienced, All Along the Watchtower. But if you delve a little deeper, you'll find some of his other, lesser known stuff is nothing short of epic. Go out and buy the album 'Electric Ladyland'... it's a double album... and listen to side three on the headphones. You will come out of it feeling like you just took a trip to outer space and back, it is mind blowing.

So, happy birthday, Jimi. We miss you.

Wrath of Lamb November 26/09

I think Stork Craft is getting a bad rap. They're the company facing the largest crib recall in history.. and now they';re facing a huge class action lawsuit. First of all, the company wasn't given proper notice that the recall was being issued, and that's why their website crashed and their phone lines got jammed. They simply weren't ready for the onslaught. Secondly, let's look at the facts... And I don't mean to be morbid here. 2.1 million cribs are being recalled, because 4 children have died in the past four years.

Let's look at that... Four out of 2.1 million... In nine years. Around 60 babies die EVERY year while 'co-sleeping', sharing the bed with their parents. Nearly 500 children drown each year, mostly from being left alone in a bathtub or pool. My point is, is that accidents happen. Do I think this crib recall should happen? Yes, of course I do. Nothing is more important than the safety of our children. But let's stop the widespread panic, and look at it for what it is. The head of Stork Craft has said he thinks the injuries and deaths are happening because the cribs are not being assembled properly.

And I can see that. Maybe it's a combination of that and negligent parenting. After all, we're taking about about four out of 2.1 million... over nine years. And yes, my baby sleeps in one of these exact drop-side Stork Craft cribs. And no, I'm not throwing it out.

Wrath of Lamb November 25/09

I say good for Adam Lambert. He's the openly gay American Idol guy who performed a racy number at the American Music Awards on Sunday night. He kissed his male keyboard player and did a bunch of other sexual stuff. It was no racier than anything Britney Spears or Madonna or Lady Gaga would do. So why was it controversial?

Because it was gay.

So now ABC cancelled his appearance on 'Good Morning America' and he's being asked to apologize. And he refuses to. And I say good for him. I'm not a fan of his music, and I don't particularly enjoy watching him gyrate around the stage with a bunch of guys in leather either. But if Britney can do it, Adam Lambert should be allowed to do it, too. Thats the hypocrisy of America. You can't have one set of standards that say 'we're okay with homosexuality', and then turn around and be shocked when it's brought to the forefront.

Wrath of Lamb November 05/09

So, I went down to Seattle on Tuesday to see Steve Martin perform a concert of bluegrass and banjo music. I went with my friend, who has interviewed Steve in the past, and has developed an email friendship with him. The plan was to maybe meet the man before or after the show. The trip was smooth, no hassles at the border. We got down there with a few hours to spare, so we checked into our hotel room and went out for some food and drinks. I was drinking beer, and my friend was having a selection of martinis and cocktails. A cosmopolitan, something called a pineapple lemon drop, etc.

We finally got to the concert hall, and this place was fancy dancy. A huge elaborate concert hall, the home of the Seattle symphony. Everyone was in expensive suits, elegant dresses, fur coats, and everyone was older than we were. My friend commented that they weren't so much Steve Martin fans, as 'patrons of the arts'. We took our seats in the sixth row, right in the centre. Awesome. Steve came on and after about three songs I noticed my buddy wasn't looking too well.

Then I heard a splashing sound.

He was projectile vomiting all over the floor. It was horrible. The people beside him got up and left in disgust, and then he got up and left, covered head to toe in vomit. The whole place began to smell like a sour pineapple lemon drop. I didn't know what to do. I sat there for a few minutes, then got up and went looking for him. I found him outside hailing a cab. I went back in and sat at a different seat and tried to enjoy the show.

We never got to meet Steve Martin.

Wrath of Lamb October 30/09

This may not be too popular, but here's my thoughts on the U2 concert Wednesday night. Was it good? yeah, of course, it was U2. It was really good.

Kind of.

The first problem were my seats. We bought the tickets ages ago... through the fan club presale, and they looked like they were gonna be great seats. That's because the stage set-up was supposed to be in the middle of the stadium, in the round. It was after all, called the '360' tour. But the stage was at the far end of BC Place, and we had a large lighting rig blocking our view.

Strike one.

The 'claw' which everybody has heard about, was really impressive looking. But that was about it. It didn't really do anything. The whole thing just felt overblown. Larry Mullen, the drummer, looked like hell. I thought he was gonna pass out a couple times. And Bono's voice was starting to show the strain of a long tour. The sound was pretty good, but not ideal. BC Place is known as the echo dome for a reason.

But perhaps my biggest complaint was the shameless marketing taking place inside the stadium. Every 50 feet or so there was a large Blackberry display, with 'Blackberry loves U2' written all over the place. I've seen U2 twice before, and this show was definitely number three out of three. I love U2, but it really seems like this tour was all about the money.

Wrath of Lamb October 26/09

I have a problem when bands try to reunite under their original name, when they're missing the key member of their group. The latest is Sublime, who have a new singer and are fighting with the family of singer Brad Nowell, who died in 1996. The thing is, Nowell WAS Sublime... he was the singer and guitar player, and wrote most of the songs.

There are many other examples of this... Ray Manzarek and Robby Krieger trying to tour as The Doors... ummm... no Jim Morrison? c'mon guys. Luckily that one got quashed and now they're calling themselves the Doors of the 21st Century. Cheezy. I went to see Randy Bachman and Burton Cummings this past summer, and it was an awesome show. But did you know they can't call themselves the 'Guess Who'? That's because the bass player has the rights to the name, and tours with it.

Give me a break.

I'm on the fence about Alice in Chains, because Jerry Cantrell was the leading force behind that band, and let's face it they sound pretty awesome with the new guy. But can you imagine Dave Grohl and the other guy touring as 'Nirvana'? No thanks.