Wrath of Lamb June 01/10

If you have ever bought canned corned beef, you will have noticed something weird. For some reason, it comes with a little key that you need to open the can. It's the same with Spam or Spork. Why is canned meat the only thing that requires a key? And you can't use a regular can opener on it, because they make the can a square shape. So, why a key? Why does corned beef need a key? It's like you need some special privilege to enter the kingdom of processed meat. And sometimes, if you're not paying attention in the grocery store, you'll get a can that is missing the key. That is the worst. It's like buying Kraft Dinner with no cheese powder. It's useless. You can bash it, stab it, pry it, doesn't matter. You're not getting that corned beef-y goodness without a key. That's why I save my corned beef keys. I have them in a drawer, in case I come home with a keyless can. Because, God knows, I need my canned meat.