Wrath of Lamb March 02/10

We've all been up to our eyeballs in Canadian patriotism in the last few weeks, and that's great. A lot of  'I Am Canadian' stuff, like the Molson ads, and the stuff they did in the closing ceremonies. I thought it would be nice to localize it a bit. So I present to you:

I Am Victorian!!

My name is Jason and I am Victorian. I will drive for half an hour behind someone doing 20k with their blinker on, and never honk, because they are old and I am Victorian. I know where the Empress tea room, the Wax Museum and Miniature World are, but I've never been to any of them. I understand terms like 'The Colwood Crawl', 'Two-Sailing Wait', 'The Breakwater' and 'Flower Count'. To me, 'Tillikum Maul' doesn't mean a killer whale attack... it means juvenile delinquent attack.

I can't drive in the snow, but I'll still complain about other people who can't drive in the snow. And, finally, if you are a tourist visiting my fine city, I won't laugh when you ask me how far you have to drive to see polar bears or what time the Undersea Gardens sets sail.

Because my name is Jason, and I Am Victorian.