You know in the movie 'UP', where they have a dog with an electronic collar that translates its thoughts into English? I want one of those for my little boy. A little translator machine, so he could say stuff like 'Before you open that diaper, you might want to hold your nose... it's like Armaggedon down there'. Or 'I'm enjoying playing with you, Dad, but just so you know, in a minute I'm gonna run and jump on you and kick you strraight in the nards'. He had a total meltdown in the store yesterday, and I did not see it coming.
If he had one of those translator things, maybe he could've said to me... 'You know what, dad? I'm actually in a really bad mood, and if you take me inside that London Drugs, I'm gonna want to pull a basket around... And when it doesn't work properly, I'm gonna freak out. I'm gonna start crying and screaming and kicking. It won't make any sense, but that's what I'm gonna do... And when you pick me up to take me out of the store, I'm just gonna get louder and more upset, and everyone will look at you and think you are abducting me... So, dad, maybe let's not go to London Drugs today'. I would've said 'No problem, son, thanks for the heads up'.
I want a baby translator... Whattya say, science?
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